Sunday, March 27, 2011


My husband and I had dinner out this past week and since it was Tuesday, it was unusual for this to happen.  We were sitting on an end booth in the restaurant and as I looked up my eyes could only see a baseball cap coming around the corner.  As it reached the end, there was a darling little boy nestled underneath this cap.

In that moment, my heart was stabbed with an ache I didn't realize was hidden there.  You see my little boy is long gone...all grown up now in his 26 years of age.  But I will never forget his continuous wearing of a baseball cap.  Sometimes I would find him in bed asleep with it on in the mornings before school!

For those of us who are empty and you alone can understand this ache...this wanting to hold your son or daughter every day.  Even as I write these words, tears gently hurts.

I have had to let the best thing I have ever done in my life go...release my most prescious son into GOD'S hands.  No, I cannot watch over him anymore, I trust my GOD to do that for me.

My dear readers who still have children home...YOU are the lucky ones...but time will pass quickly...growing up happens in a flash.  And yes, we want them to grow and mature and leave our nest, secure... ready to take on the world.

This ache, this hurt, got me thinking...did Christ ache in the same way when Paul denied HIM?  Does Christ ache for me too?  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ said: "Abide in me and I in you." John 15.   Did HE instruct his disciples knowing they would ache for HIM after HE was crucified? 

And in the same way, does our GOD ache for all of us to come home?

I believe all of this to be true...I am feeling this ache for my son in the depth of my soul.  Christ died to save our souls, and who better to feel and understand this ache of mine...this longing...this emptyness.

Christ endured this ache on the cross as well.  He cried: "why have you forsaken me?" Mark 15:34  At HIS darkest hour, Christ felt separated from GOD.  HE understands my heartache for my son. 

My abiding with HIM daily puts salve on this wound of mine...He is my strength and a Father that I run to who has HIS arms wide open for me.  HIS abiding love for me, and mine for HIM, transforms my hurt into an abiding trust...that HE is...and will always be there for me, now and forevermore!

"If you abide in my word then you are truely disciples of Mine; and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."  John 8:32

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much! God perfectly timed my reading of your post!
    "transforms my hurt into an abiding trust" WOW!