Thursday, August 9, 2012

I have had the wonderful honor of fostering a couple of dogs since our dog Charlie passed away in May.  It has been a healing opportunity for my soul so far.  It is interesting how GOD will work in your grief if you stay close to HIM.

HE has made many promises to us... one of those is: Lamentations 3:32 which says: "Though HE brings grief, HE will show compassion, so great is HIS unfailing love."  My once empty house has now been refilled with some doggy love for a time.  I do feel my sorrow lifting... I was crying every day.  Now my sadness comes and goes.... time has done that.  My pain was so deep it was hard for me to be alone in my house.  Each day is slowly a small piece of healing time.

We have had the possibility of adoption of another dog, but my husband admitted to me that he isn't ready just yet.  And I understand that.  There have only been two times in our marriage when I have seen my husband cry: when my father passed away, and when we put Charlie down.   We stayed with our dog until his last breath... and my husband broke.  It was hard to watch, but we didn't want our Charlie to be alone.  Our vet and the nurses were wonderful to us.  Vets are amazing, compassionate people.  My vet didn't want my dog to suffer and neither did we, so we listened to her and took her advice.  Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life is the right thing!

I have learned through this experience that GOD can break your heart in a way that you didn't think possible whether it be for a person, a cause, or an animal.  I am certain HIS heart breaks for us in many, many ways as well.  The shortest piece of scripture in the Bible is in John 11:35 which says: "Jesus wept."  And I wonder if our world now breaks HIS heart in every possible way?

It is comforting to know that HE grieves too.  And I don't want to grieve HIM in my words or actions... I try every day not to, but I always fail.  No matter how hard I try, I am still that sinner, still not perfect. But praise HIM...  HE is working on my heart!  Be careful when you pray for HIM to break your heart for what breaks HIS!   So I thank HIM for being who HE is to me... my comfort, my all and all, in my grief.  Only HE understands me fully...  only HE can eventually mend my broken heart...  and it is only CHRIST that deserves the glory!


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